Portrait by Marc Steiner @marcartphotocreations
Dear Raging Self,
It has been my nature to be calm... and the quiet storm if need be.
Perhaps we made a contract early on not to let you have too much air time. I've never been one for angry. Especially if accompanied by yelling. Raging self you tend to get quiet rather than loud. Sometimes Contemplative Self gets mistaken for you because an aspect of you is prolonged thought... searching for answers (and after learning vipassana: noticing the muscle tension that accompanies you). Don't get me wrong I get frustrated, dissapointed and, yes even angry too. But Raging Self your anger doesn't stick around here long or often. You've been known to say just let me be upset, it will pass shortly. Some part of us needs to FEEL IT before we let it go. There is usually an urge to talk it out (you want to be heard)... or sometimes writing you out feels like you have passed... Raging self you tend to come to the surface when I am in an emotionally sensitive state and I am feeling pushed to my limits. You make me uncomfortable and I love that you teach me about setting boundaries. You also teach others about my boundaries...haha. I love that you teach me to get CURIOUS.
Raging self on those occassions when you decide to visit I want to give you space to breathe. I don't want to bury you where you can fester. I want to move through you with grace and find creative healthy outlets for you. You call for HEALING.
Raging self you are usually accompanied by deep sadness (perhaps from generations of ancestors before me - with tears held back). You remind me that something needs to be RELEASED. Mostly I find that we need to FORGIVE ourself and remember we have always been WHOLE. Raging Self be gentle on me, deal? Cool.
Love + Light
this is part of a series of love letters to self i wrote as prompted by @littleolovebird on instagram over a year ago. They are gems to me, so i will continue to share them her in my musings adding new insights and resources as i see fit.