REBIRTH: Dear Dying Self

1. getting lost in emotions (feeling through)

Does a leaf, when it falls from the tree in winter, feel defeated by the cold? The tree says to the leaf: ‘That’s the cycle of life. You may think you’re going to die, but you live on in me. It’s thanks to you that I’m alive, because I can breathe.

Paulo coelho

Dear Dying Self,

You need to disappear for the new things to be born.

Dying self you allow all the illusions + boundaries to fall away. You make me want to complete dreams + live fully.

I am somewhere between mourning your loss, embracing the return HOME + passionately fighting for LIFE.

You remind me that I create the collage of my future in the steps of today. You bring perspective + ask me to get CLEAR. You confront my WILL + ask boldly if I am ready to take full responsibility for this LIFETIME.

You say: Step forward drop the mask or continue to force + restrict the flow.  You bring life changing decisions. A bit of you falls away each day - we are ever evolving and ever changing..

You bring to the surface those patterns that are not serving me. You are the parts I am ready to surrender.

Dying self you are all those bits whose lessons I have learned + I am ready to move on (to the next challenge - you keep life interesting). Dying self you help me feel what is truly important. Moments. Connections. Experiences. RELATIONSHIPS.

Dying self I love that you bring perspective. You bring courage + you bring heart.

You require a deep acknowledgement of the will ... how much do I want to live?!

Dying self I am not afraid of you, but I still have lots to give, so thank you for urging me to get things in order + to LIVE FULLY here on Earth.

You remind me to let it all out - stop waiting "until".

You remind me to create it all now, to try now. Have FUN NOW!

Be Wonderful

♡

LaToya

P.s. The Spirit Never Dies.

Thank you for joining me on this path of INTERIOR ALCHEMY

MAGIC: Living in Trust

You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

steve jobs

Magic is sharing my truths, being vulnerable (letting down my guard to embrace my strength) + TRUSTING that life is always working out for me.

Oh Dear Trusting Self,

You came in to this experience FULL. You had complete faith in all that is because there was no built in fear, no expectations.

TRUST. Trusting self as life proceeded different experiences + growing expectations tested your faith. Especially during those teenage years... so much that once flowed with ease was questioned + tested. You were learning where your trust lives.

TRUST. You have an underlying belief in humanity (you trust in the abilities+ reliability of others until you are shown different) - you have also been burned by letting down your guard too far (not listening to that inner voice).

You are learning to trust that without those challenging times you would not have grown in the beautiful ways you have.

TRUST. You are returning to that original state + relearning more + more about trusting in the DIVINE. Divine timing. A belief that no matter what side of the pendulum you find yourself on (riding on waves of full faith + in the depths of fear of openness) - life is always working out for our HIGHEST GOOD.

TRUST. Trusting self you + surrendering self walk in sync. Together you open up the possibilities of LIFE.

A belief that all the back + forth in life is leading us somewhere - to living fully NOW.

You remember to cultivate intuition + to trust those feelings you feel.

TRUST. You are learning to trust in yourself like you trust the sun will rise. This trust you are cultivating is unspoken, it is a feeling + a deep knowing.

TRUST. Trusting Self, Creative Self has really been our teacher.

Teaching us to trust in the PROCESS. To let go of the thinking + let inspiration flow unrestricted (even if ego questions it).

Being open to new opportunities + releasing expectations.

TRUST. TRUST that I love what you bring to my life. I love that you allow me to acknowledge my ability to grow no matter what experiences are coming my way. I love that you remind me to trust in my HAPPINESS each day.

this is the MAGIC of life.

Thank You.

Love + Light

BE WONDERFUL

♡

LaToya

Thank you for joining me on this path of INTERIOR ALCHEMY

Embrace: Acceptance

The SECOND part of EMBRACE is ACCEPTANCE.

Just as I accept that the sun will rise and fall, I must accept myself without judgment. I must embrace myself fully + completely. No matter what I must LOVE myself.

I am coming to see the truth of our perfection in the eyes of SPIRIT.  No matter what we do in this life our soul remains whole. This level of acceptance opens me up to LIFE.

When everything is flowing according to our idea of how things should be, it’s easy to feel in harmony with the rhythms of the universe. When there is a lack of alignment between what we want and how our life is unfolding, we’re more likely to feel disharmony, stress, or frustration. Yet it is our resistance to what is happening in the present moment that intensifies our distress… our fear and the frightening stories we tell ourselves about our situation magnify our pain. 
– 21 Days of Inspiration Booklet 

I have consciously been working on accepting me for me.  I have to accept the choices I have made in this life. I have to accept the good with the bad and move forward from where I am.

And I thought I had that down because I have found true love for myself, but there is always more that reveals itself when you began to do self-reflection.

There is always more of yourself that can be accepted and loved more fully.

I am accepting that I am drawn to paper, cutting and gluing and taping, collaging.  Connecting concepts, and images and thoughts.

Accepting that I have a habit of marking in books, dog-earing pages and reading multiple books at once.

I accept that I think in terms of space. I accept that I am drawn to personal stories.

Accepting that I am a list maker +a dreamer.

I am accepting that I want to do many things, but at the same time I am drawn to focus on one task at a time, and SIMPLIFY.

I am accepting that I will get frustrated and that is okay. That I might set a goal and have to recalibrate along the way.

While musing on this I wrote a little poem:

I am idea maker, curator, reader + researcher, colors, bare feet, crossed legs, thinker + tinker, collector, spirit + soul, creator, created + union, i am youth, ancient wisdom, and now. I begin with genius wrapped in LOVE. I am flower. I bear fruit. I stand in imagination grounded by FAITH. I seek infinity. I embrace the DREAM. I ACCEPT FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY LIFE.

On this journey of pure acceptance I am learning about compassion for self.

Connect to your body, accept this moment, know that change is inevitable, and become clear on what you would like to see manifest. Your ability to co-create the next moment requires acceptance of the present…When your actions are motivated by love, your energy multiplies and you’re able to create anything you want. [LAW OF ATTRACTION] When you seek power and control over others, you waste energy chasing the illusion of happiness [YOU ARE BEING CONTROLLED BY THE EGO]. Set your intentions on expanding love and you will be able to manifest your desires with effortless ease. – 21 Days of Inspiration Booklet

but I can always change…

I remain unrestricted by definitions.

Part of acceptance is taking responsibility for my life and realizing that I have a choice in how I lead my life.

Acceptance is not giving up or giving it, rather it is a change of perspective.  I do not have to leave everything up to fate or find anyone or anything to blame for the circumstances I do not enjoy.

I can say yes to life.

THE ESSENCE: Acceptance is Power.

read this the next musing on EMBRACE.

Be Wonderful

♡

LaToya

Thank you for joining me on this journey of INTERIOR ALCHEMY.

Perspective (Choosing a Point of View)

Looking from angles often overlooked or taken for granted can bring new clarity.

I can choose my point of view under any circumstance.

Choosing my point of view is all about mindset. It is consciously choosing how i want to participate in life. 

To step into this power of choice requires awareness. It asks that i become an observer of my life; my actions + reactions.

It asks that i become aware of my energy at any given point in my day. Because where my energy flows my experience will follow.

To become aware of my energy i tune into my body + my emotions + my thoughts. Energy can manifest as sensations or feelings or thoughts. I become aware of their quality: Do i feel tight in a certain area? Is my selftalk encouraging? Do I feel joyous? Motivated?

Looking at my life through the perspective of where is my energy at this moment can bring new clarity.

This energy perspective can show me where my life is in flow + where i may be holding on (blocking flow). 

This energy perspective brings clarity around where i may want to focus my attention.

If i am feeling unmotivated i can look at where i can open up flow to bring enthusiasm back into my day. I can focus on questions like: Am i including things i truly enjoy in my day? What do i truly love to do + experience? Can I incorporate that into my week? When I begin to incorporate these joys back into my life I can assess if it changes my energy. 

If I am feeling stuck I can assess my beliefs around the area of stuckness. Do i believe in my abilities? Do i truely believe in my innate worthiness? Am i basing my decision making off of my inner truth or based on how others may view me? 

My beliefs direct my thoughts + my thoughts direct my energy + my energy directs my life. 

One way I track my energy is by checking in with myself throughout the day. Usually the check in is triggered by an emotion or feeling (sadness, frustration, pain, extreme happiness). I would like to make this type of check in a daily habit/ritual no matter the feeling so i can continue to reap the benefits of the clarity + connection to intuition it provides.

Another method i use is journaling. It helps me document my feelings + thoughts. When i read back through my entries i can clearly see where my energy is... am i writing from a low vibration? Or a high vibration? Best to assess this without judgement + lots of self-compassion.

I can ask myself questions that help me to see my current perspective. If i am stuck in a perspective journaling allows me to assess + access a different point of view through posing questions to myself:

• I wonder what would happen if i believed life was always working out for me?
• I wonder if all my "struggles" were blessings in disguise?
• What if i could learn to direct my energy for my highest good?

All of that to say when i take responsibility for my energy i take responsibility for my life + I step into the power of choosing my perspective - choosing the story of my life -my inspired point of view.

BE WONDERFUL

♡

LaToya

Thank you for joining me on the journey of INTERIOR ALCHEMY.

Retrospect (The untold story of Magic)

a year of shedding and renewal

I entered the year full of hope. I was full of energy and ready to take life in my own hands. so I chose MAGIC as my guiding light for the year.

Growing up I was always drawn to the art of magic. Something about magic says ease and surprises (ideally good ones), exciting times, dreams coming into fruition. Magic has another aspect that I called in:

YEAR of MAGIC. Calling it in + Embracing it. {Vulnerability + Gratitude + the Beautiful Unknown} 

Magic manifested in all areas of my life, but not in the way I expected it to.  Actually there were times when I thought I had lost the magic, but it required seeing the magic in a new light, from a different perspective.

I learned that my magic looks different from what I have seem portrayed in books, movies, and the lives of others.

Sometimes my magic looks like uncontrollable tears transforming me into my next version of my best self.  Soulwork and shedding skins I didn't even know existed. Sometimes magic looks like 100 days of collaged life. Creating things and not being too attached and letting them out into the world.

Sometimes magic looks like an insight into my past  ways of being and my sense of self. It looks like realisations that allow change and growth. I can be anyone I choose. I am not restricted by the past or who I thought I should be by now.

Magic looks like embracing the things I fear and doing one thing each day that scares me. Magic looks like coordinating everyday things with family, Magic looks like staying at home with my growing son. Magic looks like not forcing things. It looks like having FUN. It looks like growing a garden, and eating the plants that you cultivate and grow. It looks like New Moon Yoga, Reflections , and Circles. It looks like helping amazing souls make their visions a reality through creating custom graphics.

Magic looks like writing and creating art for a magazine focused on uplifting and connecting women. It looks like connecting with old and new friends. It looks like letting others know your care, even if you dot know how to help, you care.

It looks like giving away all my things and moving onto a bus with my family. It looks like TRUST and connection, sharing and living more fully.  Magic was teaching myself to drive on the left, being given a book called Magic that reminded me of the necessity of GRATITUDE. Reading Big Magic and All of Brene Browns books I could get my hands on at the library - Remembering to Rise Strong and be Courageous.

Magic is...

All the knowledge gained and the open expression through writing sharing the magic in my first gallery show at a beautiful friends shop. Magic looks like helping several people declutter. Magic is reaching out and embracing my perfectly imperfect self - embracing what is and knowing that I don't need to fix anything... I just need to ACCEPT my innate wholeness. Magic is setting intentions and recognizing the synchronicity that follows - Witnessing how spirit speaks to me in subtle ways. Magic looks like falling apart and picking up the pieces and letting go of what I know is no longer required.

No one wants to dwell in the past, but this year in review has really helped me to see what I have accomplished (allowing me to be compassionate and give myself a bit more credit than I was before I assessed the year) and how I want to apply last years lessons to the year ahead.

My birthday falls at the end of December so i start my year end reflections then. This year I had a bit of time to myself in the morning. I used that time to do an end of year card spread from Biddy Tarot where I decided to use all my decks. I also used Susanah Conways Unraveling the Year worksheets to gain insights on what lessons came from my experiences. I also

My overall lessons from this year:

1. Leave OVERTHINKING behind.  Learn to use my mental capacity for my good ( I choose my thoughts - start with awareness).
2.  Always choose GRATITUDE - enjoying life is a celebration - a form of gratitude.
3. Communicate with my HEART - speak my truth even if it scares me.

So this is what M A G I C  really looks like in my life. 

Journal Prompts: How does magic show up in your life? Do you do an end of year review to propel you into the next year?

Resources I used for Year End Reviews  Prepping for the New Year:

Biddy Tarot Spread Susannah Conway The Art of Simple

Be Wonderful

xx

LaToya

Thank you for joining me on the journey of INTERIOR ALCHEMY.